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Say No, so you can say Yes

My son was born two months ago. It feels like time got compressed. I used to be able to do so much and still have spare time.

But these days, I often find myself not able to finish doing what I set out to do. It often happens that I feel overwhelmed.

The new situation has forced me to look deeper at the concept of prioritizing your day.

A to-do list does not work.

Prioritizing is hard. It is hard because it is emotional work.

It is easy (and lazy) to say: everything on this list needs to be done today. It is hiding from the hard emotional work of prioritizing.

When you think about your priorities, you need to get clear with yourself about what is truly important for you. Where do you want to get, what do you want to accomplish, whom do you want to spend your time with.

You have to say “No” to many things on your list so you can say “Yes” to the most important one.

If I say “yes” to more computer time, I have to say “no” to more rest time, or I have to say “no” to more family time.

The truth is we all get 24 hours a day, and saying “yes” to everything is a trap. You are not being honest with yourself, and you are not brave enough to say “no” to distractions and to other “world emergencies” that have nothing to do with you.

When you work on a project, it is easy to want to do everything right from the start. From week one, if at all possible. But I have discovered that breaking down what I want to do in a list of priorities helps me ship the project faster and with the most impact. It also removes all the distractions I would hide behind. It shifts my thinking away from “what would be cool and pretty” towards “what has the most value and how can I deliver that most effectively”?

How about you? Does prioritizing come easy, or is it something that you avoid?

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